jj_hansum

He Who Always Be There

Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Dongahe
Pairing: YeWon (obviously) and slight YeHae
Rate: G
Warning: I'm toooootally bad in writing and English....
Inspired by a post from http://beradadisini.com/tag/the-one-who-never-leaves/



Yesung seems busy preparing for an order when someone lightly taps his shoulder and calls his name. Yesung turns his head and finds Ryeowook, his employee, stands beside him.

“Hyung, Donghae is here,” said Ryewook, tilting his head slightly to the cashier counter. Yesung looks over Ryeowook’s shoulder and finds the man Ryeowook talking about. A man taller and quite bigger than Yesung waves his hand to Yesung with a wide smile decorating his dark face.

“You can take his order. I will finish this first.” Ryeowook nods his head then walks to the cashier to take Donghae’s order. It is around fifteen minute after that when Yesung takes the empty seat in front of Donghae with two glasses in his hands.

“Latte with extra espresso and low fat milk,” told Yesung while handing one of the glass to Donghae. The said man says thanks and sips the drink. Donghae closes his eyes, savoring the drink in his mouth.

“Perfect, as usual!” He compliments.

Yesung pays close attention to the man in front of him. The man has longer hair than the last time they met. His face is also a bit darker than his usual skin color. Yesung’s brows knitted while he scrutinizing Donghae’s looks.

“Your face getting darker. Where did you go?” asked Yesung.

“Africa.” Yesung laughs softly hearing Donghae’s answer.

“You finally going to that continent, eoh? How months?”

Donghae rolls his eyes while thinking. “Four or five months. I went to Egypt to see that pyramid.. but the place was not as good as I expected.” Donghae waves his hand and makes this mad face showing that he is really disappointed and upset. For about 20 minutes, Yesung listens to the recap of Donghae’s adventure in Africa.

Yesung holds his chin with his right hand. His eyes never leave the man who is talking enthusiastically in front of him. His eyes are sparkling beautifully and his smile is exactly reflecting how happy he is. Yesung used to love those eyes and he once fell for that smile. The kind of eyes and smiles that always reminded Yesung to an innocent and happy child.

Yesung and Donghae were once lovers. Years ago, when they were university students. They had been through many ups and downs, tears and laughter, when one day they decided to end their relationship. It was not their first break up actually. They had ended their relationship at least three times in 4 years but their last break up was really an end for them.

No matter how many times they got back together, the problem remained the same. The very same problem led to their real separation. Yesung was not a romantic person. He almost never brought presents or create an event for Donghae except for their anniversaries or the man’s birthday. To make it worse, Yesung barely said the three magic words. He is simply the type of guy who cannot express his feeling well.

Donghae, on the other side, was actually not the huge fan of romance. Still, as a lover, he expected Yesung to show some affection. He did not want presents or love-words every day but at least the said guy could just surprise him with something romantic once in a while.
Donghae loves traveling a lot while Yesung is more like stay-at-home person. Because of this, Donghae left Yesung many times to explore many different countries. There were times when none of them complain about it but there were more times when they felt that distance was indeed a bitch. Especially for Yesung. He really did not like it when he could not reach Donghae for days when the said man went to an unknown place with weak to none phone signal.

Yesung loved Donghae and he knew Donghae loved him as well. But the same problem kept on haunting them. Some times Yesung hated Donghae but he knew he could not hate him more than he loved the man. Their fights always left both of them hurted, wounded, either from the harsh words accidentally said or the cold after the fight. No matter how many time they talked about it, they just could never resolve the problem.

As much as both of them knew how they love each other, they also knew that they most likely could never made it together. They would love and as well as hurt each other. That faint feeling of love probably still lingers in Yesung and Donghae even until now.

“How’s your father?” asked yesung when Donghae finished his 20-minute-narration.

“Good… he lives with my brother now.” Donghae’s mother passed away a year ago. Yesung came to Donghae’s house as soon as he heard the news and Yesung accompanied him until the funeral ceremony ended because Yesung knew exactly how much the said man loved his mother. Yesung did not leave Donghae until he was sure that the man was gonna be fine.

“Have you visited your mother’s place?” Yesung referring to the place where Donghae’s mother’s ashes kept.

“Yesterday… right after I arrived from the airport.” For few minutes Yesung and Donghae let the silence fills the air. Donghae throws his attention to the street in front of the café that can be seen through the large window not far from their table. Meanwhile, Yesung just looks at his almost empty glasses, thinking nothing in particular.

“How’s Siwon?” Donghae’s voice finally breaks the silence. Yesung looks at Donghae with a smile.

“He’s good,” answered Yesung. A year after his break up with Donghae, Yesung met Siwon. He did not know that he would fall in love with the guy back then. At that time, Siwon was just the regular customer in Yesung’s café and Yesung was just not ready for another love.

As the time flies, after the umpteenth meeting and conversation they had, Yesung finally realized that he had fallen for the guy. Yet, it still required some time for Yesung before he could took the relationship Siwon offered.

Two years ago Siwon and Yesung tied their knot. It was such a surprise to everyone who knew about Yesung and Donghae when the ex-boyfriend attended the wedding with such a big smile – though many doubted him but Yesung knew it was a sincere smile.

“I’m happy knowing that you are happy,” uttered Donghae.

“Thank you. I always wish for your happiness as well.”
.
.

It is pretty quiet in the living room even though two person are currently occupying the room. Siwon sits on the right side of the sofa with a book in his hand while Yesung lays comfortably with his head on the left arm of the sofa and his foot on Siwon’s lap. The slightly shorter man looks at the clear night sky through the large window next to the sofa. Once a while he will throw a glance to his husband who makes this serious face.

“Donghae made a visit to the café today.” Yesung’s voice finally fills the quiet room.

“I know. Ryeowook told me when I was waiting for you,” replied Siwon still reading the book.

“You’re upset?” Yesung moves his feet playfully on Siwon’s lap, intentionally disturb the man.

“Why I should be upset?” Yesung chuckles lightly. Though Siwon tries to sound calm but he knows his husband is upset about this.

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you earlier. I should have texted you about his coming so you don’t have to know about it from someone else.” Yesung apologized. He has told Siwon everything about his past relationship with Donghae and about his feeling toward the man. He told Siwon that he does still care about Donghae. He cannot lie about that. But things are pretty different between them right now. They are not the lovers they used to be though the title ‘friend’ cannot be addressed to them as well.

Siwon sighs loudly. He puts the book on the table in front of them then looks at Yesung intently. “I know I sound silly for asking this-“

“Whatever you are about to say, it will never sound silly,” cut Yesung.

Siwon diverts his attention to other things except Yesung for a while, collecting his scrambled thoughts. “I have been wondering about
this…” He finally brings his sight back to the man lying on the sofa. “Have you… ever thinking about how your life will be if you marry him instead of me? even the slightest thought about getting back to him instead of accepting me.”

Yesung opens his mouth but he says nothing for a moment. He just gives Siwon a look that is pretty hard to comprehend. Yesung takes a deep breath as he decides to sit then moves closer to Siwon. Their eyes are locked to each other.

“I loved Donghae. We were together for four years,” Yesung began. “Despite all the bruises we created for each other, the harsh words we exchanged when we fought, we just – I just couldn’t hate him more or nearly as much as I love him.”

Yesung takes Siwon’s hands and holds them tightly. “As things happened, I learned that sometimes you have to admit that there are things that are not meant to be together. You know, like my favorite Espresso Brownie and your favorite Americano. They are too bitter!! Meh.”
Siwon cannot help but laugh when Yesung chooses their favorite food and drink as the example. Siwon sighs contently as Yesung runs his finger on his cheek softly. “… and some other things are meant for each other. Donghae and I… we will never make it no matter how hard we tried. We …. we .. there was this distance between Donghae and I… it drifted us farther… the choice for Donghae and I … was I took the distance and got back together with him or I just moved on… left him. One year, Siwon…. it took me one year till I knew that just couldn’t take the same wound over again. We cannot fix the damage that we had created so I chose to move on.”

Yesung now puts his hand on Siwon’s chest. “… and when you confessed to me… I just knew that we are meant to be together.” Siwon can see clearly how Yesung’s cheeks turn red. He knows that Yesung always feels awkward whenever the said man expresses his deepest feeling. It is never his best trait.

“But sometimes I leave you.. just like Donghae. What if… just what if we’re gonna have the same problem later on and –“ Yesung puts his finger on Siwon’s lips, asking the taller man to stop rambling.

“I don’t know how I should put this. I know you have been away from me many times because of your work. But it feels different.” Yesung bites his lower lip. “I wish there is some kind of science thingy that can explain my feelings better because I’m actually running out of words right now.”

Yesung looks frustrated since he cannot really put his feelings to sentences that would sound convincing. “I…..” Yesung tried to explain. “Whenever you leave me you never make me feel lonely. I miss you, yes… but I never feel lonely… I just know you’re there with me no matter how far you are. Well, I kind of upset if you have to leave for more than three weeks but it’s more because I miss you a lot. But never once I feel lonely… never once I feel that we are drifting away. There is just this thing that makes me feel it is okay.”

“What if –“ Yesung cut Siwon’s sentence by claiming the taller man’s lips. Yesung moves his body closer to Siwon until he finally sits on Siwon’s lap.

“Stop thinking about another ‘what if’,” said Yesung as he looks at Siwon’s eyes. Their foreheads touch each other. “There are endless and countless possibilities when you keep on thinking those two fucking words. I love you and will love you. That’s the only think you should think about.”

“I just can’t help it, Yesung-ah. Whenever I see how you two look at each other… I see longing.”

“I care about him. I just can’t help it. I’ve known him for long time. When we decided to break up, we knew, both of us, knew that we could not stay together as lovers. The best we can make it is as someone who will help whenever the other needs. He is happy with his life and I’m happy for him. And the most important thing is I am also happy with my life now. With you.”
Yesung circles his arms around Siwon’s neck, pushing the man into a tight hug. “I’m sorry for giving you such an uncomfortable feeling this whole time,” said Yesung. “If by meeting Donghae makes you uncomfortable, I will cut any string attached between us.”

“No… no,” replied Siwon quickly. “I probably cannot really understand your relationship or whatever both of you have… but I will try to trust you. So you don’t have to do that. Just make sure you will never leave me for old time memories.”

“Thank you,” said Yesung.

“For understanding your weird connection with him?” asked Siwon with a small hint of sarcasm.

“Well.. that.. and also for helping me to convince myself to move on, for accepting me as I am, and for every moment that we shared that makes me happy.”

Yesung pulls himself off from Siwon. He pecks Siwon’s lips. “I love you and I am happy being with you. Thank you for giving those feelings.”
Siwon cups Yesung’s face. “I love you, too,” whishpered Siwon before kissing the man on his lap passionately and deeply. Siwon knows he has helplessly fallen really deep to Yesung and he has been left with no choice but to trust the man.

“Come to think about it,” said Siwon when they end their kiss. Yesung is still in Siwon’s laps, leaning his head on the taller man’s chest.

“You have said many ‘I love you’ this last few minutes. You have never done that. Maybe I should bring about Donghae more often!” added Siwon Jokingly.

“Yak!!!” Siwon laughs loudly seeing how red Yesung face is before he hides his face in the crook of Siwon’s neck.

-kkeut-
Is it one shot? or drabbles?
giving you coffee ^^
kudos on how you portray both relationship
it's not overly dramatic nor does it ladk the feeling
you could say, well blended?
<3s

The science thingy that yesung said reminds me of his tweet "i cant explain it but i'll try to find a song that can..." hehehe.


I actually want to know more about how and why yehae broke up, and what siwon had in him to convince yesung to settle down with him. I mean whether he never went to far away places in free spirit like donghae, you know... just curious hihi

yay, yewon! this was really cute. i love the fact that siwon tries to understand yesung and hae's relationship. :)